The beginning of you: John William

Our precious miracle baby boy - John William Arthur - is finally here!!! 8 lbs, 20.5 in long and more perfect than we ever imagined. Born on December 15th at 10:13 am.


He is 6 months now, and we fall more in love with the little man he is becoming everyday. His birth didn't go the way I wanted, but God had a plan, gave me strength, and gave us the best hospital team to get us through. 

December 13, 2017:
I had my 40 week appointment with my midwife. I was 2cm dilated, 80% effaced, and he was at -1. My waves were around 10 minutes apart on and off. 

December 14, 2017 (my due date):
My waves were still inconsistent. I called my doula and we agreed to try the Miles Circuit. That evening after Samuel got home from work, we went out to dinner at Chick-Fil-A (my last pregnancy craving lol) and then he went through the Miles Circuit with me around 7 pm. My labor started progressing around 11:30 with waves 6 minutes apart lasting 30 seconds- a minute. 

December 15, 2017:
My waves were now 3-4 minutes apart and getting more intense. I was laying in bed when my water broke at 1:13 am. At this point my waves picked up and my doula suggested I take a warm bath. We got the diffuser going with young livings Joy essential oil and I ended up laboring in the bath for about 45 minutes, before I told Samuel we needed to get things ready to go to the hospital. At that point my waves were about 2-3 minutes apart lasting for almost a minute. 

At 2:37 am we were heading to the hospital. Samuel says he made great time getting me to the hospital, but it felt like the longest car ride ever!! I guess thats what I get for picking a hospital an hour away haha.

We arrived at the hospital at 3:10 am and met my doula in the lobby. She helped me fill out paperwork while Sam brought some of my things in from the car. Filling out paper work while in active labor is a task in and of its self. At 3:30 the midwife on staff at the time checked me and I was 4 cm, 100%, and 0. She really tried to push the hep lock on me, but Samuel argued with her for awhile to make sure the labor and delivery went the way I had hoped for. I declined the hep lock and she finally backed off. 

At 3:45 am the nurses made me drink juice to get baby moving, and I had to stay on the monitors longer to make sure he was okay. My Samuel got my essentials oils going (I honestly don’t remember what ones my doula and he used when haha but I’ll do a separate post about them soon). I labored mostly in my back. Thankfully my doula made essential oil rice heat packs, and that felt amazing on my back. They took my blood at 4:15 and took me off the monitor. I then labored on the toilet for awhile (laboring on the toilet makes waves even more intense, but really helps keep things moving). I was vomiting quite a bit at this point and was having trouble keeping juice/water down. After laboring on the toilet, I slow danced with Samuel, but quickly decided to labor on the birth ball.  I rotated between the toilet, slow dancing, and the birthing ball for the next couple hours.

At 6:45 am the midwife checked me and I was 7 1/2cm, and +1. I was very exhausted at this point, and could tell I was getting dehydrated. Everyone agreed the best thing for the baby and I at this point was a IV. Shortly after I was feeling lots of pressure and was at 8cm. Samuel and my doula took turns running to the microwave and rubbing my back. 

At 8:30 am the nurse checked me and I was 9 1/2 cm, and +1. I had ripped the IV out at this point and was wanting to labor on the toilet, but the nurse wouldn't let me. 

At 8:50 am I start pushing on my hands and knees, but the nurse tells me to stop and wait. Baby was still at a +1 and she told me I wouldn't be able to push him out yet. She leaves at 9:30 and my body is telling me to push still. I pushed with Samuel and my doula with my diffuser going for the next 30 minutes. 

At 10 am my midwife comes in to check on me and was impressed with the progress I had made on my own. She leaves and tells me to press the call button when he is coming. I continue to push with the nurse for a few minutes and I knew he was coming right then and there, but the nurse didn't believe me (she and I did not see eye to eye on things lol). My doula called my midwife in anyway. The nurse was now telling me not to push and to hold baby in. My midwife and Samuel gloved up, and I give one last push. 

At 10:13 am Samuel catches our baby. I will never forget the look on Samuel's face as John William fell into his arms. I fell even more in love with both my boys in that moment. The cord was wrapped around Johns neck twice, so Samuel had to untangle him before passing him to me for skin to skin. After 3 minutes, Sam cut the cord, and then the NICU immediately took him from me because he was not breathing properly. I watched the NICU team working to get him breathing right in the corner of the room and Samuel watching over him while my midwife stitched me up. 

At 10:35 the NICU team decided John William needed to go to transition to be stabilized and monitored. Samuel went with him. They let me kiss the top of his head and in the blink of an eye I was laying in a empty labor and delivery room with my doula and midwife. Tears streamed down my face as my doula held me and my midwife tried to comfort me. There really is no way to explain the amount of pain you feel sitting in a empty labor and delivery room not knowing where your baby is or if he is okay. Eventually the tears stopped and I felt numb. I couldn't cry anymore, I was so exhausted, and my head was going a million miles a minute. My doula talked through the labor and birth with me, and then about breastfeeding. We didn't know when I would get to see or feed John so she helped me push for a breast pump to get something for him when he was ready. 

At 11:35 my mom showed up to stay with me. Thank goodness Samuel called my mom to come stay with me. I just needed my mom that day. My doula left at noon, so I could spend time with my mom all while Samuel is sitting in a chair in the hallway watching our son through a glass window. 

After being separated for over 5 hours, I finally got to hold my baby. And we were all together as a family. The next 48 hours were long and rough. A nurse came in to take John to the nursery to be monitored every few hours. His breathing and heart rate were way to fast and they were concerned he might have a infection. 

December 16, 2017:
The day started with the nurse coming in to get our discharge papers started and go over what they needed for us to go home. But shortly after the pediatrician came in and told us Johns blood sugar levels were way to high and they needed to take him to be monitored. She also told us she no longer would sign off that he was okay to go home. I was crushed. I just wanted my baby to be okay and to be home. 

During this time we saw a lactation specialist and OT, because we couldn't get him to eat. His suck was super weak and he struggled to swallow without choking. When he choked his first reaction wasn't to cough, but to gasp for air. We ended up having to supplement formula with a preemie nipple to get food in him. Nursing was put on hold while John William learned to suck and swallow. 

December 17, 2017:
Our nurse came in at 7am to take John for his monitoring and to check his blood sugar levels. (His poor feet had so many pricks from all the testing they were having to do :( ) She went on to inform us that he was going to have to stay in the hospital one more day, but that I would need to be discharged today. Meaning I was going to have to go home without my baby. I couldn't process having to leave John behind. We were already separated so much. All I wanted was to be with him. They started to go through the discharge process with me while Samuel contacted our pastor to pray. 

We prayed and we prayed hard!! 

Then all the sudden the nurse came into take him to circumcision. (which wasn't supposed to happen anymore, because it would interfere with the testing they were going to have to that afternoon) We were shocked, but praising God that a step toward him coming home was being made. When the nurse brought him back, she told us all he needed left was his shots and then the ped has cleared him to go home today. 

At 2:30 pm we were packing up our room and bringing our baby HOME!! We ran out of that hospital as fast as we could before anyone could change their mind. 

God answers prayers y'all!

That night we laid in bed trying to soak everything in. Ever since I found out I was pregnant, well really even before that, I pictured holding my baby for the first time and locking eyes, imagining how I would feel now that my precious baby was in my arms. But then without warning those moments I dreamed of for so long were stolen. The thoughts never crossed my mind I would be laying in a labor and delivery room without my baby or my husband. The first day of his life got robbed from him too. Laying alone in transition wondering were I was and why he was taken from me. Not knowing his daddy is on the other side of the glass crying and praying so hard for him. For 9 months we were inseparable up to this point that is, and being alone away from each other in the hospital still makes my stomach hurt. Having nurses and doctors come in and out constantly telling me what’s wrong with my baby starts to make you reflect on your pregnancy and birth trying to find an answer to what you did wrong. 

Processing tramua is hard, confusing, and it’s testing. It tested my faith, my self worth and my relationship with my son. God wanted me to succeed and the devil wanted me to fail. It hasn’t be pretty and there are bad days, but I’m determined to succeed and help him succeed. Because God turns bad into good for those who serve him. 

Natural childbirth was the most empowering and rewarding thing I have ever done. But it also brought a great amount of pain physically and emotionally. I couldn't have gotten through it without God and my amazing husband. 

I so wish I could be in these moments again, just to capture it and hold onto it even tighter. So crazy how a 11 hour event ends so suddenly and you blink and feel like you missed it. 

John William still has his struggles, but we are making steps with his doctors and therapist to help him thrive and grow just like he should. 
God blessed me with the best men. I couldn't be more grateful for our happy, healthy, growing family.

A huge thank you to all the doctors and nurses that took good care of us at Northside Hospital! So so thankful for them!!! 

xo

Below are a few pictures from the hospital





















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