Live Loved Today, Give Love Today

I recently have been reading "Uninvited" by Lysa Terkeurst... If you haven't read it yet STOP reading this blog post and go buy it!! You will not regret it, I promise! This book completely changed my life from the inside out. 

On the front cover of the book under the title it says, "feeling loved when you feel less than, left out and lonely". That one line describes my entire life. 

I can't tell you how many times I have cried out to God asking Him how to feel loved when I definitely didn't feel loved. His answer to me was I love you, let me love you. 

"Let me love you??" 

"God I do let you love me!!!" 

"But do you?"

God and I had several arguments that went something like that... If you have ever had an argument with God then you know no matter how much you fight Him... He wins. 

So after I gave up fighting God, I got to thinking...

If I wasn't letting God love me, was I letting others love me?

The answer to that question was a NO. I was the problem, not everyone else. I wasn't letting God love me, so it was impossible to let anyone else love me.

So I set out to learn how to let God love me so I could be loved and give love... 

Growing up I always had one person who always made sure that everyone around her felt loved. From the little handmade notes she would send on holidays, birthdays or just because to the stuff she would knit for us to her little things showing you that she was thinking about you and loved you. This woman was my Great Grandmother Ruth. 

She is the only person I have ever met who actually fully understood what love really is. She loved how Christ loves. 

In 2010, grandmother passed away at age 91. 

That's when I stopped letting people and God love me. 

She taught me how to love and feel loved, and when she was gone I didn't think anyone could ever love me again. 

I was wrong.

She loved the way she did, because she loved Christ more than anything. And she let Him love her. 

For a long time I didn't love God with all my heart, soul and mind.

And he said to him, "You shall love the lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." - Matthew 22:37

We can't love ourselves, others or receive love if we do not love God with everything we have. 

God is love. 

 "Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love." -1 John 4:8

The most pure, raw love there is comes from Him. 

And we cannot fully understand how to love unless we learn from love Himself. But to learn we must know God personally. 

It has been 6 years since Grandmother went home, it hasn't been easy. But God has been working in me all these years... pushing me, teaching me, and loving me... all I had to do was let him. 

A few months ago, my daddy took me on a father/daughter date and we got to talking about love. (We always seem to get on the topic of God and I love it!!!) My dad had been listening to Dan Mohlers preachings and it has totally changed his life! And so he encouraged me to listen to them as well... AND OH MY GOSH GUYS talk about powerful stuff!!! 

His podcasts are free in the podcast app. You have to go listen to the Becoming Love and HCSKL 2011 51 day school!! They are kind of long, but i just listen to them whenever I am driving and got through most of them already! Totally worth your time! 

Learning to be loved by God has totally changed my outlook on life. Not only do I feel loved when I feel less than, left out and lonely, but I am learning to love others and myself the way God does. 

Every day when I wake up I write "live loved today, give love today" on my wrist as a reminder every minute of the day that I am loved no matter what, and I can love no matter what. 

Some days I struggle, we are human it is okay to struggle, but whenever I look down I am reminded that I am loved by God even in my darkest. 

"But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us."
 -Romans 5:8

"Uninvited" helped me learn how to let God love me and for that I am forever thankful for Lysa. For real, If you haven't read "Uninvited" I suggest you go read it... 

Never forget you are loved. Even in those dark moments of life you are loved. 

Let God love you.

Live loved today, Give love today

xo,

Kayla Ann

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